How to make dumplings

My Chinese teacher invited me to her her Father-in-laws house for lunch with another student. We arrived at an airy, modern flat, with Traditional style Chinese furniture – uncomfortable red wooden chairs, with bamboo seat covers so you don't get too hot and sweaty in the summer. We sat and sipped tea and asked repeatedly, "Can we help?"

As honoured guests, we should relax and not lift a finger, but Anna and I were very keen to learn how to make dumplings. Eventually we were allowed to help, and our host showed us how to roll out the dough into small flat round dumpling wrappers. And how to spoon just the right amount of filling onto the wrapper, and how to fold it neatly into a dumpling.

So we tried, and we rolled and we folded. It took us about two minutes to make one dumpling, in which time our host had made about six perfect ones, while ours looked like something a two year old might make! It looks very simple – squish the edges together, and pinch them shut. But the pinching requires a certain art which I suspect takes a lot of practice to get perfect!

The filling was a very special mixture, containing some kind of green vegetable, ginger, garlic, water chestnuts, and something else which I really didn't catch. My food Chinese is limited to what I can order in a restaurant. Ingredients are still beyond me, much to the amusement of the lady in the vegetable shop.

I regularly go in, look around, then attempt to explain what the vegetable I want looks like. She will say the right name, I will look blank, and explain again. She will say the right name again and show me, then I go, yes! And she laughs. Still, I'm learning. I can now ask for onions. Progress.

Anyway, dumplings. So we made dumplings, and then the meal was ready. We were treated to six cold dishes. Peanuts, thousand year eggs, pork, tofu skin, cucumber and duck. I expressed delight in the thousand year eggs (which are not actually one thousand years old, they are just pickled) and so had about 12 put onto my plate. Aaarrghh! Must remember to be noncommittal about everything in future! I guess they are an acquired taste as the texture can be a little slimy. 

And then the dumplings came out, steamed and fried. Anna and I looked at them in despair. Were we really expected to eat all of this food? We had barely made a dent in the cold dishes! Our teacher said it was ok. So we ate as much as we could, slowly, and expressed our deep appreciation. The food was excellent, and it was awesome to be able to sit with a Chinese family and eat together. I'm sure it was nothing like the reality of a normal dinner at home for them, but still, we could imagine!

I was reminded of my grandfather, who liked nothing better than having a table full of family and friends around to eat together. Food always seems to taste better when you have company! So friends, family, come and visit me so we can eat together! I might even make you some misshapen dumplings, Chinese style!

'You know, you're crazier than you look!'

Yes, I have crossed that line, from mostly sensible, to slightly crazy person. I attended my first official b!ble conference. And it was awesome!

I have been singing with the African Choir at chvrch, which is like a cross between London Rev and the Pra!se and Worsh!p team at Hope. Awesome choral music, (lots of African songs mixed with Hillsongs et al) sung with ridiculous enthusiasm, loudly, into microphones, and accompanied by drums, guitar, piano, bass, and sometimes the tambourine (I get very excited by this so they don't encourage me to play it very often, as my rhythm is a bit random)!!

So, can you see the African Choir? Can you hear them singing? If it's helpful, think of the last time you heard me sing. Imagine that my voice is like a kitten miaowing, and next to me are five or six lions, roaring. Can you hear them now?

Now imagine that there is an African choir in every city in China, and that they all come together twice a year for a conference. Is there anything more wonderful than listening to a room of 350 people sing, soulfully, meaningfully, at the top of their lungs, pra!ses to Him? And further to clap and shout and dance in celebration?

The conference was basically three music sessions every day, followed by a speaker, and then some group discussion. I was with a couple of other conference freshies, and the first time the dancing started we watched, jaws on the ground, as a spontaneous mosh pit/line dancing group formed in front of the stage. The pure energy was exhilarating to watch.

The second time, we were ready - my new friends and I rushed to the front to take part! The trick is to figure out who is leading (which can be fairly fluid) and then to not trip over anyone else's feet. And also, to do whatever you do with 100% enthusiasm. You can't dance half heartedly here!

The Beijing crew were invited to lead one of the music sessions. We were all slightly nervous about this as our usual choir of 7+ singers with assorted musicians had dwindled to three singers, a drummer and two very reluctant musicians (she can hardly play the piano, and I can hardly play the guitar). But we were backed up by pr@yer, and He provided three incredibly talented musicians, an awesome set list, and a really good time slot. We sang on the second day, when we all still had some voice left, and were not completely exhausted, just on the edge of it!

We started with slow songs, deep songs, that normally you have to sing quietly. With this group, we could belt it out. We are encouraged to sing with our best voice, or most comfortable range, so I get the ridiculously squeaky high bits. It feels so good to sing out, loudly, as He intended, and to know that he is using you, and your voice, to reach out to people, to help people speak with him.

We intended to finish our set with a short fast song, and then something medium paced to calm people down. Well, within seconds of the fast song starting we had our very own mosh pit forming, who would not let us stop! They screamed, "More! More!" How could we disoblige? 30 minutes and several African songs I don't even know later, we staggered off stage, exhausted.

I know that many of my friends (and I love you regardless) look on my energy and enthusiasm for life with a kind of fear, and a "don't let me get infected" feeling. How can I express how wonderful it feels to be surrounded by people equally enthusiastic, equally on fire for Him, to walk His walk, to do His will, to trust in His crazy, amazing, and unimaginable plan for us. All I can say is Thank You! What a privilege have I been given. May I thank Him always for this gift. 

A Trifling Experiment with Cheeseburger Pie

You may imagine from this blog that I only ever eat out at restaurants. It's not true. Sometimes I eat out at other people's houses.

I have met lot's of Americans here. And some of them have been kind enough to invite me for dinner. And they cook American food. American food is cool! Way cool. I mean come on, 'Cheeseburger Pie' – what an awesome name!!

So the name is sort of descriptive, if you translate it into American. 'Cheeseburger Pie' is a cross between a cheeseburger (in that it contains burger meat) and pie (if by 'pie' you mean a pasta bake crossed with toad in the hole). It's apparently very easy to make. You fry up ground beef (I.e. minced beef) and onions, and add some 'seasoning mix' (no idea exactly what it contains but some kind of chilli powder, plus salt and pepper, and various E numbers I guess?). Then you pour over a ready made box mix of something called 'Bisquick' which makes a biscuit mix (or a kind of doughy substance similar to yorkshire pudding). Finally you top it off with grated cheese and stick it in the oven. Yes, my American friend has an oven. She also bakes cakes and cookies (I mean biscuits)!

And voila! Cheeseburger Pie is served. I liked it. Crispy on top, lots of red meat with a kind of Tex Mex chilli con carne flavour that American's do so well, the sort of doughy stuff that binds it all together. I had thirds.

For dessert another friend had experimented with trifle. In a kind of 'well I don't have sponge cake, or jelly, but I have custard and random biscuits and some fruit. Lets's sort of throw it all in together and see what happens' way. It tasted good! Custard with all sorts of exciting bits of fruit or biscuit lurking where you least expect them. Plus the top was covered with 杨梅 (yangmei) or Yumberries. I had never eaten them before. They are slightly sour and tangy, but sort of sweet as well. They went nicely with the custard, bringing a tartness to the sweetness of the trifle.

Aren't you all impressed with my new American food vocabulary? Yeah? Oh weeeell, it's reeaal naaice of y'aaall to saiy so. [I never said my American accent was any good!!:)]

Sticky Hairy Apples

When you have a set class schedule you also have set lunch buddies. And our campus has limited restaurant options. There are two decent restaurants, so we alternate. And sometimes, yes, we get bored and order strange things for a little variety.

This week it was toffee apples. A group behind us had them and my colleague said they were good. So, some minutes later a massive pile of hot toffee apples appeared on our table.

They are not your traditional 'apple on a stick coated in toffee and wrapped in red cellophane' variety. These are much nicer and slightly easier to eat. They are freshly cooked pieces of apple, battered, and then covered in toffee. They are served with a bowl of cold water because the toffee is so fresh that it develops these fine toffee hairs when you pick it up. You have to dip it in the water to cool the toffee, and stop the hairs from growing, then eat it slowly – because it's still really hot inside.

But you have to eat the dish quickly. Because once the apples get cold, they solidify into hard lumps that stick together and break your teeth! And of course, this is China, so the apples (dessert) always arrive before your main course! The worst part is, I'm starting to enjoy the sweet as a starter. I'll come back to the Western world having learned to spit bones onto the table, eat dessert first, and yell for the waiter without even looking. Oh dear! You just can't take some people anywhere!!

Are you sure it's beef?

In my Chinese class this week we were looking at menus and food words and how to order. My teacher asked me 你会不会点菜？ (Have you learned to order yet?) I told her 对，我会点菜，但是有的时候我点真奇怪的菜。 (Yes, but sometimes I order very strange dishes.)

A couple of weeks ago my colleagues and I were out for our weekly dinner. I was put in charge of ordering because I have the best Chinese of the group (which doesn't say much about us – I think between us we have lived in China for 20 years!). We go by the tried and tested point method. You point at a photograph and say 这个 (that one!). Occasionally we check what it is 猪肉吗？牛肉吗？(Is it pork? Is it beef?) Or 肝脏吗？(Is it liver?). My colleagues are not huge fans of liver.

Well, I was pointing and choosing, and we all agreed that something different would be good. So I pointed at something we hadn't tried before. 牛肉吗？ 对，牛蛙肉。(Is it beef? Yes, Beef -WA) I didn't know what 'wa' meant, but I was pretty sure it wasn't liver (gan). So we ordered it.

A colleagues' Chinese wife arrived a bit later and said, "Who ordered frog?" Well I did. It turns out that the frogs that you can eat are called 'beef frogs'. Beef is 'niurou' and Beef frogs are 'niuWArou'. That 'wa' in the middle turned out to be quite important.

Oh well. I quite like frog. Tastes like a cross between fish and chicken. This dish was irritating because peas are very hard to pick up with chopsticks, but the frog itself was good. Lots of bones, but no worse than crabmeat! And certainly no more fiddly than chicken feet.

You learn something every day. My Chinese teacher was very impressed with my knowledge of niuwarou, and laughed and laughed when she heard the story. I can just picture her going home to her husband... "You'll never guess what that crazy foreigner did the other day..."

Thunder, Lightning and Muffins

Pictures: Outside my teaching building, The main street, Next day – A split tree, A lucky car

Yesterday, around 4pm, I was teaching my class on Shakespeare's sonnets when the sky clouded over and turned black as night, the wind picked up and and the rain began to bucket down. My students stopped pretending to pay attention to my scintillating analysis of sonnet 146 and kept saying instead "下雨了" ("It's raining!"). Well, I have to admit, it was raining very hard. We paused to peer out the window.

We could barely see outside as the water was falling so fast and thick.The trees were a blur of movement. The thunder was really loud and close, followed swiftly by bright cracks of lightning. One girl suddenly remembered, "I forgot to shut my window!" Her roommates looked distinctly unimpressed. I said she could go now and shut her window if she liked. No one wanted to leave the room. They weren't afraid of the rain, but they wanted to make sure I was ok. All this fuss for a little rain?

I finished class and called my friend to say I would be a few minutes late as my class finished late. I got downstairs and stopped. The road outside my teaching building had turned into a river. Students were wading knee deep across this raging torrent to get to the other buildings. I called my friend and cancelled. I was not wading to the subway station in my brand new shoes. Besides, the subway was probably flooding as well!

My bus, due to take me back to the other campus, failed to show up at 6, or 6.10 or 6.15. So, instead I spent a delightful evening on campus with a friend of mine, sharing spaghetti and practicing my Chinese with some of her colleagues. We baked muffins, discussed the popularity of Mickey Mouse, and compared the weather in Beijing and Shandong province.

We were very lucky, I don't think any buildings were very badly damaged. The car above had no broken windows, and I know of no one who was hurt. Even my new shoes were relatively unscathed by their underwater adventure.

I spoke with the sister of my Chinese teacher and on her street, a manhole cover washed away in the flood. Two pedestrians wading through the water fell through the hole left behind and they have not been seen or heard from since.

The man upstairs is all powerful. Anything can happen. Lest we forget!

Twirl baby, twirl!

I went to the Temple of Heaven last week with a couple of friends, and we paused as usual in the garden to watch the ribbon twirlers. There is something so entrancing about watching these ribbons twirl, they are so smooth and colourful and it looks so easy and effortless. This small boy was being taught by his grandmother. He was pretty good actually, only lacking a little height to give him more proficiency.

I figured, if he could do it, I could do it. The lady let me try her ribbons and showed me the basics: you twirl in a figure of eight, or in a spiral pattern. The trick is to keep your speed fairly steady and to not get your ribbons tied in a knot. The knotting thing is actually very easy to do, and takes forever to unknot! You can see the lady in the first picture has a massive knot in her ribbon. It didn't seem to affect the size of her smile though. Once you have mastered the basics of twirling, then you have to learn the swaying dance that goes with it and point your toes and stuff, all an integral part of the performance.

I must admit, I bought a ribbon. I dithered for a good five minutes but I thought, 'This is fun. And I can practice at home.' So I took it home and practiced twirling it in my flat. Once. It's quite good exercise for your arms. They certainly ache afterwards! Maybe I should dig it out again!

Life on a T-shirt

Photo: A friend models her Beijing purchases – squid on a stick and a Mickey Mouse hoodie.

Walking home today I saw an older foreign guy wearing a T-shirt which read 'I [heart] my Chinese girlfriend', but 'girlfriend' had been crossed out and 'wife' written in with permanent marker. I smiled as I read it!

What does your T-shirt say about you? I remember when I was at uni, and lived in a uniform of jeans and a T-shirt, that choosing the best T-shirt for the right occasion was a tricky task. I guess it's the same anywhere, the only difference is what you deem to be 'cool'!

I get the impression that it's 'cool' to wear a T-shirt with English on it in Beijing. No matter what it says. I saw a middle aged Chinese lady wearing a T-shirt which read 'I am Mr Right Now'. I wonder if she had any idea what it meant?

Some of the English on T-shirts here looks like the test page you get out of a printer to check the ink is working properly, i.e. complete gobbledegook. That's pretty bad. But I think the worst ones are where someone has tried to say something in English and got the grammar totally wrong. "I charming".

Another 'cool' trend is Mickey Mouse. This in particular terrifies me. A group of guys were walking towards me this afternoon and of course, one of them was wearing a Mickey Mouse T-shirt. How did Mickey Mouse become cool in China? I mean, I understand that Mickey Mouse can be cool for a 4 year old, but for a 24 year old? Even my 6 year old nephew would not be seen dead wearing Mickey Mouse – It's Thomas the Tank Engine all the way.

I asked my students to invent a product for various target markets and the group with students came up with his and hers matching laptops. I suggested (as a joke) that maybe they should add Mickey Mouse to make the laptops more attractive. They nodded attentively, and lo and behold, the final ad had matching lap tops (blue and baby pink) complete with a subtle black Mickey Mouse ear design. Oh dear...

Scorpion on a stick anyone?

In the centre of Beijing is a Street Food market called Donghuamen Night Food Street (东华门美食坊夜市). I'm not convinced that locals ever eat anything there. Maybe if you're on a date or something? But mostly it's tourists, foreign or Chinese, looking for something weird to eat and a good photo opportunity. The theme is food on a stick. Strawberries, kiwi fruit, chicken, fish, pork, lamb, snake, centipede, squid, crab, prawns, silk worm larvae, star fish, scorpions, grasshoppers, sea urchins – you name it, they've got it.

We weren't brave enough to try a scorpion, so instead we went for some squid and a Beijing Burger. The squid was pretty good, tasted like squid you'd get anywhere, with a good spicy sauce added after it was grilled over charcoal.

A Beijing burger is basically like a hamburger – bread, kind of like an English muffin but a bit softer, split in two and containing some minced meat. It was hot and reasonably tasty if you ignored the grease. Thoroughly uninspiring really. I guess it would be a good 3am post clubbing fix, but otherwise I wouldn't bother. Go for the centipede instead.

Long live the great unity of the people of the world!

Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard was visiting Beijing the day we went to Tian'anmen Square. Hence all the Australian flags proudly flapping in the breeze. The title of this entry is one of the two inscriptions next to Mao's picture: "世界人民大团结万岁 Long live the great unity of the people of the world". Rather fitting I thought!

Tian'anmen square was modelled on the Red Square in Moscow, however Chinese architects managed to make it five times bigger than the Red Square. You can certainly fit many matching hat wearing tour groups into the square on a Tuesday afternoon.

For most Chinese people, if they only ever make one visit to Beijing in their life, Tian'anmen Square and the Forbidden City are the two places they will go and see. Tian'anmen Square symbolises the power and success of the Communist Party through its stark Stalinist architecture, completed in record time by hard working and committed patriots, and its massive scale. The Forbidden City represents China's glorious imperial history. Most of the younger generation do not know anything about other event's that occurred at Tian'anmen (literally 'The Gate of Heavenly Peace'). It's interesting that Westerner's have such different ideas associated with these places.

I wonder, if you could look inside someones imagination as they gazed awestruck at the vastness of this concrete square, what would a Chinese person be imagining and what would a Western person be imagining?

My advice – bring a hat. It's hot and there are no trees. Security risk, you know.